
I’ve recently been thinking about the conclusion to the series Cowboy Bebop, specifically the last scene of the final episode. The crew of the Bebop has splintered and won’t reunite back to what they once were, Spike’s reunion with Julia has been tragically cut short, and Jet and Faye fail to convince Spike not to go back and confront his old partner, Vicious. A bloody swathe is cut and though Spike finally puts an end to Vicious, he soon collapses from his wounds. Giving one last “Bang” to us, the audience before Mai Yamane and the Seatbelts perform the last song of the show, “Blue.” Not fading to black like normal but taking the credits past the rain, past the blue skies and into the vastness of the stars, it’s final card giving one last musical reference from the Beatles, “You’re Gonna Carry That Weight.”
I’ve been thinking about this scene for the wrong reasons, because I’m grieving. I’m grieving the loss of a family member. I’m grieving because the world has been irreparably changed for others and myself I’m grieving because I could no more stop her death than Jet and Faye could stop Spike from going on his awful conclusion. Maybe these are the right reasons, I honestly don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want to feel like this and I don’t want to face what comes next.
But I’ve realized something about that last line, or rather I’ve reached a revelation that might not be right but I want to share it all the same. The “Weight” is usually been interpreted as the regrets from the choices we’ve made, our past mistakes, or even the grief we feel as we soldier on even as we lose our friends and loved ones. That one seems the most appropriate but it also feels like there’s something else, that’s when it hit me. The Weight is more than just the hurt and the losses and the bad mistakes, it’s also the good times, the cherished moments, the love that’s shared. It’s heavy because life is heavy.
When we lose someone we care about we carry all that we felt alongside of them, the weight of their lives and our own. We may be fortunate to have someone else help with that burden or we may struggle on our own. But however the journey goes and until the stars in our lives all fade away, we carry that weight.











